


Bottled Up Emotions

by DavineNaughter



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Best Friends, Drunkenness, Fluff, Kissing, Love Confession, M/M, Secret Crush, a bit of angst, overall cute Phan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-21
Updated: 2016-03-02
Packaged: 2018-05-08 02:47:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5480408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DavineNaughter/pseuds/DavineNaughter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan an Phil are the best of friends, that much is obvious. But there are some things Phil never even considers, but after a few bottles of beer and a drunken kiss, he starts to question whether it could be something more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Drunk

Somehow we had decided that dessert couldn't wait. And somehow Dan's decision that I be the one to get stuck going to Tesco in the rain at midnight on a Tuesday night went through.

So there I was, waterlogged and tired, struggling to unlock the door to our flat. Dan wouldn't answer the bloody door, and my key always got stuck. It probably wasn't helping that we had opened a bottle of wine, but that was also what probably possessed me to go out.

Finally I got the door open and nearly fell into our flat. I hadn't had enough to be drunk in the first place, and by now I was basically sober. I set the bag with some cheap cupcakes on the counter and started fuming. Dan knew my key didn't work, and has promised to stay in the kitchen, but he was nowhere to be seen.

"Dan! Where are you‽"

No immediate answer came, but after a moment I heard a grunt coming from the lounge. I stormed down the hall and agitatedly burst into the room.

"You promised you'd wait at the door! You're the one who made me go out in the rain, and you know perfectly well-" I was cut off by Dan letting out a sob, and I furrowed my brow. "Dan, what's wrong?"

He kept cutting himself off, but between sobs I distinguished, "'M sorry Phil. Ma head hurt n' I wuz gon fall over. 'M sorry, Phil."

"Are you okay Dan?"

His lip quivered in a way very easily comparable to a child. What had gotten into him?

But then I spotted the empty wine bottle on the floor next to an empty beer bottle. On the table next to the couch sat another beer bottle, this one half empty.

I hadn't been gone more than an hour, since it had taken forever to find a taxi (there was no way in hell I would've walked normally-let alone tipsy in the rain at night). But Dan seemed a bit more than tipsy, to be generous. Actually no, screw generosity, Dan was bloody drunk.

I sighed and sat down next to my best friend on the couch, pulling the sobbing man child he turned into when he was drunk into an embrace.

"Shhh, it's okay Dan. Really, it's no problem." I stroked his hair, rolling my eyes at just how brightly he looked up at me. I swear, when I signed up for this friendship I didn't sign up to coddle a child. But generally Dan did some hilariously mortifying things while he was intoxicated, so it definitely paid off.

"Really? You aren't mad?" I nodded and he threw his arms around my neck. "You're da best, Phil!" He plopped a sloppy kiss on my cheek and I giggled as I gently shoved him away from where he had nearly thrown himself on my lap.

"Now did you mean it when you said you were going to fall over?" I asked cautiously.

He nodded, suddenly looking sluggish and worn out. "Yeah, I don' feel vury good." He said as he reached for his bottle again. I rolled my eyes and snatched it from him just before it touched his lips. "Hey! Das mine!"

"I think you've had more than enough, Dan. You should go to sleep."

Dan poured some more and I giggled again. "I don' wanna!" He crossed his arms across his chest rebelliously and I rolled my eyes.

Putting on my most stern expression, I just said, "Dan," and looked at him sternly. For a few moments Dan met my gaze defiantly, but he quickly lowered his head and sighed.

I allowed myself a small smug smile at the easy victory. Dan sulkily started to stand, but started swaying and grabbed the sofa for support.

I get up to help him, and the look of joy on his face was the cutest thing I could remember seeing in quite a while. "Willya tuck me in, Phil?"

I smiled endearingly over to where he was now leaning on me. "Of course, Dan, now let's go."

With great difficultly we got to Dan's room, him nearly falling over twelve times. This was probably due to the combination of his drunkenness and my clumsiness, but I chose to blame it just on his drunkenness and awkward tallness. When we did get there I lowered him into bed.

He joyously yanks his jeans off so he's in his boxers, probably not even considering that I was still in the room. But he pulled up the blankets before things got awkward, and then gave me puppy eyes until I laughed and walked over.

As I started tucking him in, he hummed happily and started sleepily slurring some more words together. "Phil, yur the bestest friend in the whole wide world. You know that, right Philly?"

I cringe. "God, Dan, never call me 'Philly' ever again. That's so uncomfortable."

This time Dan giggled and began his mantra in a sing song voice. "Philly Philly Philly Philly-"

"Enough, Dan." At this point I was giggling too, he was just too cute.

"I luv you Philly..." Dan trailed off as I got up to leave.

"I love you too, Dan, you're the bestest friend in the whole wide world," I mockingly parroted back his earlier statement. Suddenly Dan's eyes flew open and he grabbed my arm, effectively making me stumble back over to the bed. Somehow I managed to keep my footing, but I was made to stare directly at Dan's face, and I immediately raised my eyebrows to his suddenly serious expression.

"No, Phil, I mean I love you. Not as a friend. You know that, don't you?" I nearly did a double take.

"Dan, you're drunk. Go to sleep," I said firmly, trying to rush away before I got as flustered as I felt. In the morning I could just wake up and have this be something to make fun of Dan for, yup. It's the alcohol talking for Dan: my platonic flat mate and best friend.

I turned to go, but just as I did so I felt myself being pulled again, but this time gentler. I swallowed and funded back around. Immediately, I was pulled down and Dan kissed me.

The lips of my best friend were soft and warm, and I kicked myself mentally for enjoying it. But the way his mouth moved against mine just felt right, and it made me feel like I had never realised something had been missing. I kissed him back after a moment, forgetting entirely that he was just drunk, that this meant nothing, that this was probably considered taking advantage of him.

After God knows how long Dan tried to deepen the kiss and my eyes shot open. I roughly yanked myself away and just stared at him like a deer caught in headlights. He looks a bit sad, and I can't help feeling crushed by guilt.

"'M not just drunk, Phil. I love ya, really," Dan said, as if he couldn't believe he thought I didn't believe him.

But I was already out the door, going to hid in my own covers.


	2. Sober

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this took so long

*Dan's POV*

I woke up with a splitting headache, and immediately wondered what had died inside of me.

For a while all I could do was roll helplessly around in bed, trying to dig deep enough into the sheets that the blinding light can't reach me. I wasn't really functioning enough to remember anything. Obviously I was hungover, I just couldn't recall why.

The door cracked open, and the sound assaulted my ears far worse than the small sound should have. I groaned to let whoever was there know it was not appreciated.

"Sorry!" a familiar voice rung out quietly. My ears perked up at the sound despite the throbbing it sent through my skull. "Did I wake you?" Phil asked, sounding sweetly concerned.

I forced my head out of my pillows, not to the liking of my entire body, and was greeted with the apologetic face of my best friend. Somehow even through my haze of pain and regret he still managed to look beautiful.

"S'okay," I mumbled, letting my head fall back onto the pillow, only repositioned to face the doorway.

"Er, right. Well, if you're awake then I, uh, I better get going." He awkwardly scratched the back of his neck, never taking his hand off the door handle or meeting my gaze.

I scrunched up my brow, not able to figure out why my friend was so eager to get away. My head was swimming though, and my eyes shot closed as a sharp pain split back through my forehead. "Could you get me some Aspirin?" I groaned out.

There was no reply, and I didn't open my eyes, but I heard his footsteps down the hall. I rolled around some more, trying to melt into the sheets, until I heard my door creak open again. I sighed and forced myself to roll over. When I finally peeled my eyelids apart I was greeted by Phil standing next to my bed holding out a glass of water and some pills to me, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot.

I reluctantly but gratefully lifted my arm to grab them, and my eyes met Phil's on the way for the first time that morning. He looked really uncomfortable, but I couldn't place why. Something must've happened last night, I must've done something stupid.

Once I took his offerings he scurried out the room again, and it clicked. Shit. Shit. Shitshitshit.

Had I actually.../kissed/ Phil last night?

No, it wasn't possible. All these years I had been so careful never to tell, never to give my feelings away, how on earth could I have let myself kiss my best friend who probably hates me now and never wants to talk to me again. Shit.

I supposed I could pass it off as me just being drunk, but then my head pounded again and I just sighed and took the medicine. Hangover plus thinking was not a good combination.

After a few minutes, I still felt like shit, but my head stopped pounding quite as hard as it had been all morning. After a few more I fell back asleep.

* * * * *

I groaned as light flooded my vision, and wondered briefly why everything ached so much. Then I remembered about drinking too much and kissing Phil and passing out twice.

I wanted to hit myself for my stupidity. How could I have possibly let myself get carried away? That was unacceptable, no matter how much alcohol I had consumed.

My self hatred was interrupted by my stomach rumbling, and I swallowed hard just thinking about food, suddenly becoming aware of how dry my throat was.

I was about to get up, but a disturbing thought crossed my mind: what if Phil was out there? I was definitely not ready to face him, not with how foggy my head felt and how beaten up my brain felt from the self hatred session. All my muscles were also deeply protesting getting up or moving in any way, wouldn't it just be easier to stay in bed? But while I couldn't dull the throbbing in my head or the creaking of my bones, I could tame my hunger and make it feel less like I was spitting up fire because of my dry throat.

So, begrudgingly, I got up and went out to the kitchen. It took a lot longer than it usually did to walk down the hall, but that was probably because I was squinting so hard it was painful in order to shield myself from the harsh light of day.

When I finally managed to stumble into the kitchen (after painfully stumbling into that goddamn glass door) I immediately got a glass from the cupboard and held it under the faucet. The cold water down my sandpapery throat felt like heaven, and I let out a borderline erotic moan at how amazing it felt. I nearly hit my head on a cupboard when I heard an awkward cough from behind me.

I whipped around and was met by the apologetic smile of my gorgeous best friend, and was nearly pissed off before I remembered our current situation. I awkwardly nodded in his direction and looked ashamedly at my feet. "Jesus Phil, you scared me," I muttered lamely.

"Yeah, sorry, I was just... I just wanted to talk to you about something?" he said, sounding as terrified and awkward as I felt. My heart nearly stopped at his words, and I had to hold down bile. Emotional turmoil went just about as well with hangovers as thinking did.

"Yeah? What is that?" I asked stupidly, swallowing a gulp and stalling. Of course, we both knew what he wanted to talk about, I was just making it very clear I was not going to lead this conversation. Thankfully, he cleared his throat, and I looked up at him, melting in shame at the remorseful expression in his ocean blue eyes.

"Dan, what do you remember of last night?" Phil said, closing his eyes as if bracing for impact.

I froze and the silence was he kind you read about in books- those moments where the world melts away and time ceases to be feasible. "Not much..." I trail off lamely. I don't think he'll buy it, but I can't bring myself to say the words. /Oh, not much, only me completely destroying the friendship I've spent the last seven years building in five minutes./ I nearly laughed incredulously at the thought, because that was the first time my brain put that into words.

I looked down at my feet some more, not daring to meet Phil's eyes. I figured getting lost in his eyes would not be particularly helpful right now, and I could barely think, let alone restrain myself from that luxury.

I heard him clear his throat, and it was my turn to brace for impact. "Well... Something pretty huge happened last night..."

At first I had wanted to stall this conversation as much as possible, but now that it had started I just wanted it to end, so I found myself cutting him off. "I know, okay? I do remember, I know."

More timeless silence.

"I'm sorry."

The words had me snapping my head up to meet his gaze before I even registered the movement. "What?" I practically shouted.

"I'm sorry, Dan," Phil said again, more levelly this time. I blinked, still not quite understanding.

"What have you got to be sorry for, Phil? What could you /possibly/ be apologising for?"

Phil broke away from my stare, and I felt something inside me snap. "I'm sorry for what happened, Dan. You just said you knew what happened," he muttered at the floor, but I heard him loud and clear.

"Yeah, and..." I gulped. "I kissed you. That's what happened. I got drunk and crossed a line I had no right to cross with you, Phil. And /you're/ apologising. /I/ should be apologising," I said, too shocked and confused to even process what was coming out of my mouth.

"Exactly, Dan, you were drunk. I was sober. I kissed you too. That means I was practically taking advantage of you, you can't just go around kissing your friends when they're out of their minds!" Phil started to yell towards the end of his monologue. He didn't seem angry (except maybe at himself), the whole situation was just too tense for quiet to be comforting any longer. This is why I kept talking even though I felt like I should've been stunned into silence.

"What the fuck are you on about? I kissed /you,/ not the other way around, are you seriously telling me you feel bad?"

"Yes, why wouldn't I? It doesn't matter who kissed who, what matters is that you were drunk! You were out of your head and I should've stopped you, that's the end of it. I mean, you were so out of it you said you were in love with me!"

"That's not out of it, you idiot!" I snapped my mouth shut, but not soon enough to stop those words from flowing. I bit my tongue anyways.

"What? Dan-" his voice broke before he could continue, but there wasn't really anything left to say.

I gulped. /Too late to back out now,/ I thought. "Yeah. That wasn't the drunk talking, Phil." When I was just met with more stunned silence, I forced myself to keep talking. "I know, I know, that's like, totally inappropriate. We're just friends. Don't think I'm trying to change that. But yeah, I've had...feelings for you for while. I get it if you don't want anything to do with-"  
"Why?" It was my turned to be shut abruptly up when Phil interrupted my rambling.

"Huh? Why what?"

"Why aren't you trying to change that? You said you've felt like this for a while, so why haven't you told me? Why did you have to be drunk to do anything about it." I tried to cut in, but he just kept going. "I know you, Dan, probably better than I know myself, even, and I know that you're proactive. You're vocal. If you have something to say you have no trouble sharing it. You must've been pretty goddamn nervous to not tell me. Am I really that scary? Do you really think I'm such a horrible friend that I would abandon you over this? Were you seriously 100% convinced I didn't feel the same way?" he finished. I looked up to find him holding a strong gaze, as if trying to read me, and his eyes looked full of sincerity.

"Wait, did you just say...that you...feel the same way? That you want to be more than friends too?"

Phil thought about his response just long enough for the pause to not be awkward. "I'm saying that you drunkenly kissing me last night wrecked me, and I really want to do it when we're both sober," he decided on carefully.

When all I could do was stand there and blink at him, he rolled his eyes and closed the gap between us.

We were chest to chest, practically breathing the same air, and I just looked at his eyes. I knew Phil, and I had never seen him look more genuine. I started to question how I had managed to be so blind all this time, Phil filled the last space between us and his lips shoved out any possibility for rational thought. I couldn't think, I could only feel, and I could only feel Phil's mouth moving against mine. He tasted sweet, and I never wanted to move.

Unfortunately, as we were human, we needed air eventually, but we didn't move our faces away, just rested our foreheads together.

"You never answered me," Phil said after a moment.

"Well I got kind of distracted," I responded with a giggle.

"So? Why didn't you ever?"

"I guess I was just terrified that I didn't know what was going to happen. I was being stupid, I guess. But I'm done with unnecessary nervousness."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." At this point our smiles were uncontrollable. "So I have one question for you."

"Yes?"

"Phil, will you be my boyfriend?" He smiled so wide his tongue poked through his teeth, and it was adorable.

"I thought you'd never ask."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments give me life ^.^  
> Okay, this was from a prompt I got on a different website in like November, and I am so sorry I didn't finish it until now. I've been rough, schools been tough, but I still love writing, I will be better in the future!  
> Also, note to self: don't have like seven in progress things posted at the same time.  
> So I'll have some things I'm working on, but keep it at the two I'm working on right now until those are done, then go from there. Sounds good? Good. :3

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please comment to tell me what you think, FEEDBACK IS LIFE.  
> So I just updated things yesterday, so I'm not going to list everything I'm doing, and I'm honestly to tired right now to think of anything more to say. This will be a two part thing, I can say that much! Still pretending people read these, that's still a thing don't worry.  
> Well, hope you enjoyed this, bye! :3 <3


End file.
